Cynical Quotes

Most popular cynical quotes

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose. - Woody Allen quote.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose.
To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and malice, "human" might be a greater insult. - Isaac Asimov quote.
To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and malice, "human" might be a greater insult.

mankind

Most people would sooner die than think, and often do. - Bertrand Russell quote.
Most people would sooner die than think, and often do.

critical thinking funny

The average man's opinions are much less foolish than they would be if he thought for himself. - Bertrand Russell quote.
The average man's opinions are much less foolish than they would be if he thought for himself.

opinions

Conscience serves us especially to judge of the actions of others. - Jean Antoine Petit-Senn quote.
Conscience serves us especially to judge of the actions of others.

conscience

Every human being is treacherous to every other human being because he has to be true to his own soul. - D. H. Lawrence quote.
Every human being is treacherous to every other human being because he has to be true to his own soul.
The happiest mortals on earth are ladies who have been bereaved by the loss of their husbands. - Elbert Hubbard quote.
The happiest mortals on earth are ladies who have been bereaved by the loss of their husbands.
Elbert Hubbard A Thousand & One Epigrams: Selected from the Writings of Elbert Hubbard (1911)

marriage

The sad thing about the optimist is his state of mind concerning himself. - Elbert Hubbard quote.
The sad thing about the optimist is his state of mind concerning himself.

optimism

Love is blind. - Plato quote.
Love is blind.

love

We know the good, we apprehend it clearly. But we can't bring it to achievement. - Euripides quote.
We know the good, we apprehend it clearly. But we can't bring it to achievement.
There is pleasure in hardship heard about. - Euripides quote.
There is pleasure in hardship heard about.

human nature

Virtue has never been as respectable as money. - Mark Twain quote.
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

virtue

God heals, and the doctor takes the fee. - Benjamin Franklin quote.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fee.

doctors

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean. - Mark Twain quote.
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.

envy human nature

"Next time I will . . ." "From now on I will . . ." What makes me think I am wiser today than I will be tomorrow?
Patience often gets the credit that belongs to fatigue. - Franklin P. Jones quote.
Patience often gets the credit that belongs to fatigue.

patience

Gratitude is a sometime thing in this world. Just because you've been feeding them all winter, don't expect the birds to take it easy on your grass seed.

gratitude

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. - Doug Larson quote.
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

funny impossible

Every successful revolution puts on in time the robes of the tyrant it has deposed. - Barbara W. Tuchman quote.
Every successful revolution puts on in time the robes of the tyrant it has deposed.

revolution

Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other. - W. Somerset Maugham quote.
Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.

love

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. - Jules Renard quote.
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

love

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. - W. Somerset Maugham quote.
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

love

Who so loves believes the impossible. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning quote.
Who so loves believes the impossible.

love

If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it. - Ernest Hemingway quote.
If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it.

love relationships

You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything. - John C. Maxwell quote.
You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.
When young, one is confident to be able to build palaces for mankind, but when the time comes one has one's hands full just to be able to remove their trash. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quote.
When young, one is confident to be able to build palaces for mankind, but when the time comes one has one's hands full just to be able to remove their trash.

youth mankind

Don't let your will roar when your power only whispers. - Thomas Fuller quote.
Don't let your will roar when your power only whispers.

ability

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren.

ability

I haven't had true love in years. My heart is empty. But win or lose, I fought for what I believed in. I'll be okay.
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? - Lily Tomlin quote.
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

love

One is very crazy when in love. - Sigmund Freud quote.
One is very crazy when in love.

love

Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.

love

He who cannot love must learn to flatter. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quote.
He who cannot love must learn to flatter.

love

Love as a relation between men and women was ruined by the desire to make sure of the legitimacy of children. - Bertrand Russell quote.
Love as a relation between men and women was ruined by the desire to make sure of the legitimacy of children.

marriage love

Reason is a weak antagonist against love.

reason love

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her. - Agatha Christie quote.
Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her.

men and women men love deceit

Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables.

love

It is impossible to love and to be wise. - Francis Bacon quote.
It is impossible to love and to be wise.

love

When a man is in love he endures more than at other times; he submits to everything. - Friedrich Nietzsche quote.
When a man is in love he endures more than at other times; he submits to everything.

love

Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain. - Billie Holiday quote.
Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain.

love

There's nothing in this world so sweet as love. And next to love the sweetest thing is hate. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow quote.
There's nothing in this world so sweet as love. And next to love the sweetest thing is hate.

love

True love is like a psychic experience. Everyone tells ghost stories, but few have ever seen a ghost. - François de La Rochefoucauld quote.
True love is like a psychic experience. Everyone tells ghost stories, but few have ever seen a ghost.

true love

Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it. - Anthony Trollope quote.
Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it.

love

I can see from your utter misery, from your eagerness to misunderstand each other, and from your thoroughly bad temper, that this is the real thing. - Peter Ustinov quote.
I can see from your utter misery, from your eagerness to misunderstand each other, and from your thoroughly bad temper, that this is the real thing.

love

Love is based on a view of women that is impossible to those who have had any experience with them. - H. L. Mencken quote.
Love is based on a view of women that is impossible to those who have had any experience with them.

women love

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht quote.
The man who laughs has not yet heard the news.
He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patent-infringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discrimination--and taxes.

business

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

marriage funny

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale.

sales

The world more often rewards the appearances of merit than merit itself. - François de La Rochefoucauld quote.
The world more often rewards the appearances of merit than merit itself.

merit appearances

Charity has always been an expression of the guilty consciences of a ruling class. - Doris Lessing quote.
Charity has always been an expression of the guilty consciences of a ruling class.

charity

No one can earn a million dollars honestly. - William Jennings Bryan quote.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

wealth

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honoré de Balzac quote.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

wealth fortune

In the midst of life we are in debt.
Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve. - Scott Adams quote.
Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
Scott Adams Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. - Scott Adams quote.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

the public

Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. - Ambrose Bierce quote.
Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

business

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. - Scott Adams quote.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

business

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other. - Honoré de Balzac quote.
Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.

friendship

Not necessity, not desire—no, the love of power is the demon of men. Let them have everything—health, food, a place to live, entertainment—they are and remain unhappy and low-spirited: for the demon waits and waits and will be satisfied. - Friedrich Nietzsche quote.
Not necessity, not desire—no, the love of power is the demon of men. Let them have everything—health, food, a place to live, entertainment—they are and remain unhappy and low-spirited: for the demon waits and waits and will be satisfied.

power human nature

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. - Friedrich Nietzsche quote.
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.

love

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. - H. L. Mencken quote.
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

war peace

All human actions are equivalent and all are on principle doomed to failure. - Jean-Paul Sartre quote.
All human actions are equivalent and all are on principle doomed to failure.

existential

Education makes machines which act like men and produces men who act like machines. - Erich Fromm quote.
Education makes machines which act like men and produces men who act like machines.

education