Johnny Carson Quotes

Happiness is a Dry Martini.

martini

You can get more done with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

funny kindness

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be President, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be Vice-President.

vice-presidency

[Success] means that you have, as performers will call it, "fuck you" money. . . . All that means is that I don't have to do what I don't want to do.

success

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

career office